Mom, you asked me why I decided to serve. I always told myself that if I turned 21 and was not married, I would go. The name change happened and when we heard it I instantly knew I would go. But I was resisting. When I kept going to school. I could not focus on school very well. I could only think about if I wanted to go on a mission. I prayed about it and no sting answer came. Finally I decided to be real with myself. If I had the chance to go and decided not to I knew I would regret it forever. Honestly, I was SO scared and I was praying that I would hurry and find someone to marry so I didn't have to go. Ultimately Stephen and James were big motivators as well. I liked the attributes they had. It was obvious they had developed them on their missions. I could tell a distinct
difference between their lives and Taylor and Eric's lives. Eric was a returned missionary too but it became apparent that he was not very committed to the gospel. I knew I'd regret not going. I knew I wanted to become like a returned missionary I knew the only way I'd push myself enough was if I was on a mission. So I decided to work on my papers and see where that took me. Well . . .it took me to Minnesota. I never received a spiritual witness that. Needed to be on a mission until about a week and a half into the MTC. And I was scared. I was scared from the time I heard the name change until a month into my mission. I was resisting change because it's hard. But I knew it needed to happen. My journal from then is funny to read. One day I'm going on a mission, the next I am not, back and forth until I just decided to go. So, that is how it happened.
With love, Sister Smith
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