I have studied this talk so much lately! It is so good.
I completely forgive you that you did not write a letter. I was glad to get the planner, and the pictures of Cassidy! My companion really struggled this week with not getting any mail, so it was okay that I didn't get lots because that would have made her feel worse.
I do not know what triggered the depression. I think a lot to do with figuring out going home, this companionship was really hard for me, so is being in this ward and feeling no support, then being near the end of my mission (President Uchtdorf talks about how we resist endings. . . that's me!), no invitation for Thanksgiving(specially when both of the Elders had a place to go), Throw Satan in the midst and you have depression. My past two companions have had Depression, and I think just being around a depressed person 24/7 for 4 1/2 months just got to me.You often become like your companions.
Who in our family has had depression? The Therapist asked me if any family members have had it, and I told her no. . . I really do feel much more calm. There has been a huge change in both my companion and I this week, and of course there are still down days, but I do feel better, we will see how this new companionship goes. . . She is a really happy person so I am sure all will be well:)
I think the best way for you to help is to just write (if you are busy it is okay, I am fine without a letter but it is nice to hear from you). I truly feel like I am on my way back up, coming out of the depression.
haha! sorry, but the last place I want to live is in the LLC with a ton of Freshmen. . . But she can come visit me often:) How far away is my apartment from campus?
I will remind myself daily of the love everyone has for me:) I was hard to share with you, that's why I waited for such a long time before I told you.
You don't need to contact the therapist I only get one more session with her, and that will be tomorrow. I do not need medicine. There are 2 kinds of depression, and only the hereditary kind needs medicine, usually. I don't have the hereditary kind:) I don't need any oils, I still have a lot that are supposed to relieve stress, and I use those. I have been praying for happiness for the rest of my mission, and I found some of it this week.
I do keep a gratitude journal, I write down things on my family calendar, so I can see my family, and all my blessings every time I look at the calendar:) I will share with you next week.
I gotta get going, Just so you know:
- I will not write letters until Thursday this week so you will get letters, it will just be later.
- We did finally get an invitation for Thanksgiving, we will not be alone!
- Will you make an appointment for me with the Dentist and the orthodontist shortly after I get home, my mouth feels so gross! and I wanted to make sure that my teeth are okay. I was supossed to go to the ortho before I left but never did, so do you think I need to go? should I still be wearing my retainers? IDK! I LOVE YOU!
With Love,
Sister Smith
On Sun, Nov 23, 2014 Christy wrote:
Any news of transfers yet?
" It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach? Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.""
—Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Grateful in Any Circumstances"
I had a great talk today with Sister Forbes. I just called her to see how you were and thank her for getting you some help. She recommend I study this talk, and can you believe I checked my email today and this was one of the daily messages that I received. Tender mercies of a very loving Heavenly Father. I was shocked to say the least when I opened up your letter on Saturday. I have been very disturbed and am going to beg forgiveness that I didn't write you this week. I went Friday to get the mail and thought "Oh ya, Emily said she was going to be busy this week" I felt kind of bummed about the whole situation. Then I realized that you were going to feel the same way and it was too late. And now I feel even worse. I got sick this week and all I wanted to do for days was sleep. I finally got tired of it and went to see Darwin who gave me a shot and some pills. I just haven't been able to break up all the congestion in my head. The play is going full force and that was crazy too. Feeding the cast and working in the concession at intermission. I know they are all excuses and not very good ones. I am begging forgiveness. I should have sent something. But I did help Jenn get the planner out. Does that count?
Well of course I have some questions. Do you know what triggered your depression? Was it a snowball effect of moving to an apartment from the Parkinson home? I know the missing mail from me didn't help and it makes me so sad. I am not going to make a big deal out of it, but I certainly am not going to brush it off either. I know depression is real. I have witnessed it in friends and family. What can I do to help? Besides Pray? I looked back on the timing of when and why I even sent you that video. So weird. I know you went thru a lot of stress worrying about coming home and going to school, but hopefully that is not bothering you anymore. Allyson came home this weekend for the play. I told her when you were coming home and she screamed!!! She wants you to come live with her. I told her I found you an apartment already. And at church today, she again told me how extremely excited she is for you to come to Logan.
There are lots of resources and helps for people and families of people dealing with depression. Sister Forbes told me that you are in a special place and have extra protection dealing with this situation. Of course Satan does not want you to be happy and successful, but you have a Father in Heaven who has promised you blessings upon your obedience as you serve Him. The very most important thing for you to remember and say daily is "God, mom and dad, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and nephews love you so much" Say it daily!!! I mean it. You are not alone and we can pull you through it. I hope you don't care that I shared your letter with the family. I want them to give you extra prayers. I am also going to put your name on the prayer roll at the temple--again!! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with me. It was probably really hard. Do you want me to be involved and contact the therapist? Is it bad enough that you need medicine to help you get thru this? I just don't know and I know it is hard to get my feelings thru an email, but I promise I am not freaking out. Just want to help and don't know how. I am sure Do Terra has some oils that can help with anxiety. Do you want me to check into that? I know you want to find happiness for the rest of your mission. You have done so many good things. And whether you see it or not, have affected so many people by your example. Think about all your new friends you will have for life. Old mission companions, investigators, Relief Society presidents, the Parkinson's, etc, etc. etc. This week give your Father the gift of gratitude and count your blessings. Do you keep a gratitude journal? Do you jot down or note in your planner tender mercies and miracles witnessed? Let's do it together and share it next week.
Quoting President Ezra Taft Benson, Sister Curtis said that prayer is the key to keeping depression from destroying individuals.
“Sisters, I testify that the Lord will send answers to prayers with the ability to penetrate the darkest, darkest feelings of depression,” Sister Curtis said. “In fact, when we ask for His Spirit, it has the ability to heal us. The Lord wants to help us mend. We need to ask—and ask often—as often as it takes.”
“I testify that Jesus Christ loves you, and He has the power to comfort, strengthen, and bless those who suffer with depression because He is the master mender.” —Amy C. Curtis, LDS Family Services.
Enough of that for now. On to brighter things.
Class schedule: Careers and Life planning, Cindy Stokes. Parenting and child guidance, Kay Bradford. Families and Cultural Diversity, Grant Bartholomew. Family Finance, Alena Johnson and just for fun-Aerobic Kickboxing!!!
Well Lindsey and Ty signed closing papers on the house. They will start moving in tomorrow. They are going to Brigham City for Thanksgiving and hope to have things kind of set up before they go. I think it sounds chaotic! Cooper has been sick all week too. It started out with a cold then turned worse. Now it is his tummy. He hasn't felt good for four days now. It is so sad. He tries hard to play, then stops and lays down with his blankie. He tries to eat, but just doesn't eat much.
Grandma and grandpa got called to replace Lindsey and Ty teaching primary. Too funny. But the bishopric gave them beautiful blessings today. I thought, dang I want one of those, just not a new calling. I want to stay put in the family history center.
For dad's birthday, we are running away after thanksgiving. We decided to go to the Grand Canyon. Weather is suppose to be in the 60's. Man I will take that. Just don't know what we might have to go thru to get there. It is in the southern part of Utah. No wrestling and no drill. I can't wait.
Well I better sign off for now. It's getting late. Remember who you are and remember we are here for you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Love, Momsy
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